Thoughts on Attachment Theory, Part 1 and 2

I heard a presentation on attachment theory and want to add two thoughts of my own. First, that people are resilient and relationships are dynamic. It is never too late to change parenting styles, relating patterns, or behavior. Second, everyone makes mistakes. Mistakes give us an opportunity to practice and experience the most important skills in life: repentance, forgiveness, and healing. What mistakes have you made in your relationships? How have you transformed those mistakes into something better?

One assumption in attachment theory is that we want ourselves and our children to have stable, healthy relationships so that we can explore and take risks. I want those things just like everyone else, but I also value growth, which comes through adversity. I have found that God is sufficient to provide growth, even when other supportive relationships are unavailable. What challenges have you faced? How have they changed you? Do you value the outcome?

Want more? My thoughts were influenced by these phenomenal resources:
Daring Greatly by Brene Brown
Between Parent and Child by Dr. Haim Ginott
Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg


  1. My sister and I have been talking a TON about this...starting before the retreat and lots after. In the September issue of the Ensign magazine (pg. 36), there was an article about teaching children resiliency that I have been feeling a big connection to in regards to this issue but haven't been able to articulate why. Thank you for helping to articulate so perfectly how resiliency/forgiveness relates to this!

    Additionally, I don't think he said you need all 3 base attachments, but he did say you need at least one. He kind of said that having just God is more difficult because He's not physically harder to have a conversation with. He also said that people can use their relationship with God to "hide" in and not fix their other relationships (such as someone saying my spouse and I are not well so I'm going to focus on my relationship with God instead of trying to work through our problems). Of course this was his opinion on a theory, so we are all entitled to find our own truth.

    I'm really grateful to have found your blog. Thank you for sharing it! I look forward to learning more from you.


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