The Spiritual/Emotional Component

I struggled with food addiction for many years. It looked like occasional binging on junk food and a couple years of anorexia (avoiding fats and seeking to feel hungry).

Many people may not categorize that as "addiction" but I have a broad definition of that word. For me, addiction is anytime a person's behavior does not align with her values. Thus, if I value health and wellbeing, but I eat junk food, even infrequently, I am acting in addiction.

Addiction comes from emotional mismanagement, often from avoiding feeling emotions. The ones I avoided most were shame, guilt, anger, and fear.


Resources

It took a long time to learn how to accept, acknowledge and allow my emotions and stop acting out with food. Resources that helped:

  • An inspired COUNSELOR who taught me to recognize, share, and allow my emotions without shame. I find that inspired counselors are rare though. Another option is to do the work of counseling directly with God. John Eldredge's Wild at Heart and Captivating retreats help people access healing and revelation from God. You can run his retreats yourself, for free, or participate in a retreat near you.
  • BOOKS: 
  • LOTS OF GOD. Studying the scriptures, repenting of emotional traumas and triggers (inviting Jesus into my wounded places, and allowing Him to walk me through them), and hearing from God. Doing everything possible to be in the presence of the spirit (in the temple, church conferences, listening to prophetic words and inspiring music...) so that God can get through my sins, false beliefs and false traditions to teach and change me. Counsel from President Russel M. Nelson applies here: cast out Satan, find joy in daily repentance, and set a regular appointment to review covenants with God (The Power of Spiritual Momentum, We Can Do Better and Be Better and The Temple and Your Spiritual Foundation).


Boundaries

I also set myself up for success with FOOD BOUNDARIES. These are meant to strengthen my weak places, the way Moroni fortified his cities in times of peace (Alma 49-50).
  1. Only shop at the GROCERY STORE when I am emotionally healthy, strong, and stable.
  2. NO JUNK FOOD stored in the house. Ever.
  3. When I feel the urge to act out (sometimes multiple times a day), ADDRESS EMOTIONS. My most effective tool is talking to God about what's going on. In prayer, I get curious about my insides. What am I feeling? Why do I want to act out? Did something happen recently? What memories are coming up? I share these with God, and stay open to inspiration. I continue this step throughout all the steps that follow, knowing that when the emotions surface and move through me, the pull to addiction will disappear!!!
  4. And, if I'm still pulled to ACT OUT and my ability to face my emotions is crumbling, I act out in three stages.
    • Stage 1: with a tasty healthy food that is a special treat in my normal diet. My favorite is dried fruit, no sugar added. I like this because I don't feel sick from it the next day, it is chewy and prolongs the acting out "high," and it swells quickly in my belly so that I can usually stop after eating a pound or less.
    • Stage 2: I continue to wrestle to address emotions all through the dried fruit, but if I find myself still losing the battle, I drive to the grocery store or bake a whole foods dessert. (My favorite purchases are Honey Mamas or Mustang Bars.) The price, the effort to obtain them, and the sugar and fat usually help curb my acting out long enough for me to get to bed and try again tomorrow.
    • Stage 3: Usually two levels of acting out -- dried fruit and then dessert -- while trying to pray and address the underlying emotions, are enough to get me through. But if I end up eating junk food, I quickly move to the final step...
  5. NO SHAME. No matter what I ate, I fought a battle, and I do not allow shame to harass me. I forgive myself quickly and try again tomorrow.


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