The Best and the Worst

I noticed myself thinking “I’m the best” after weeks of resisting thoughts of “I’m the worst.” Both are lies. The truth is that God doesn’t judge like that. He loves me — and you — as we are. What lies do you believe? What is the truth to counter those lies? How does God see you? Can you open your heart to His love? Can you let it in?


Video Transcript (edited):

Well. Guess how I’m sinning now?

I want to be all dramatic about it because there are a million ways to sin. The truthful, life-giving path is clean and straight and clear. But there are infinite ways to deviate from that path.

This morning I woke up and immediately noticed these thoughts in my mind: "I'm so great! I’m so wise! Look at me making these videos, sharing my profound thoughts with the world.”

How ridiculous! For the last three weeks I have been battling intense critical thoughts in my brain. Thoughts like, "Sarah you stink. Nobody's going to listen to you. Why are you making these videos? Nobody likes what you have to say. You don't have anything new or important to say anyway. You are a loser. Why do you even bother?"

Or, "People will criticize you. You don't want to do that."

Fear and self deprecation. That's what I've been fighting for three weeks.

It doesn't come from me. It comes from Satan. It's just 100% from him — or the enemy or adversary, whatever you want to call him. It comes from him. He's telling me these things because he wants me to shrink and shut down. They aren’t truthful.

So for the first two weeks the fear and self deprecation was too much. It was overpowering. At some point I gave it to Jesus Christ and the table turned. Since then I've been able to move forward. I've been able to feel strong and bright and alive. I've been able to make these videos. Those thoughts still come up but they're quiet and they're small and I've been able to say back, "Oh yeah. Yeah. I remember you. I'm choosing a different path." It hasn't been a big deal.

Then this morning it flips 180. It goes from "Sarah you're the worst" to, "Sarah you're the best.” It's another lie. It's just another sin! It's another falsehood that is coming in and complicating things. The part that says I'm the best is just as false as the worst. Luckily the juxtaposition was clear for me, so it was easy to recognize the falsehood, and its source, and dismiss it.

Ok, so now I see the lies: Satan will tell me that I'm the best and the worst. But what is the truth?

I used to think the truth was that I'm somewhere in the middle. If you're going to judge me, then I probably am somewhere in the middle. But that’s not the truth either. The Real Truth is that there’s no scale! God doesn't judge me that way. He loves me as I am, for who I am, because I'm glorious and beautiful and I have unique strengths that are mine and gorgeous. That's the truth. He sees that.

Every person in this world — including you and me — has infinite worth. To God we are worth worlds. He sees the beauty in us the way parents see beauty in their children.

There are precious (albeit rare) times I stop to gaze at my children. Whenever I do, I notice that they’re gorgeous and amazing just as they are. It doesn't matter if they're this, that or the other, I admire and rejoice in who they are.

I remember feeling similarly about my mom after she passed away. We had a rocky relationship when she passed, so the juxtaposition helped me see that even with the things that were hard, she was my mother and I I loved her because she was my mother. It was that simple. She was beautiful and she was worth much to me, as she was, with all the flaws and all the strengths, just because she was my mom.

I think God loves us in a more perfect, more beautiful version of these familial relationships we experience on earth.

So my message is that Satan will tell you that you're the best and the worst. But the truth is that God loves you as you are, for who you are. You are worth worlds, no matter what.

What lies do you believe? What is the truth to counter those lies? How does God see you? Can you open your heart to His love? Can you let it in?

That's all for today.

Keep shining!


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